


Ragnarsdottir

by burntmythroatskullingmytea (Tytoaster)



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brother-Sister Relationships, Depression, Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Neglect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-03-13 01:20:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tytoaster/pseuds/burntmythroatskullingmytea
Summary: What if the Ragnarsons had a younger sister? What would she be like?Part 2 of my 200 Followers Celebration: The Ragnarsons have sister AU





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AdamantErinyes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdamantErinyes/gifts).



* * *

“Let us pass! Move!” Ubbe commanded. Asdis tailed her brothers weaving through the crowd. There he was, ragged and worn, staggering around the marketplace; her father, Ragnar Lothbrok. His gaze alighted on each of his sons and he grinned. Nodding with recognition, he stepped forward inspecting each one before casting his gaze downward to her brother.

“Hello, Ivar.” He greeted as he ruffled his hair, “There's no mistaking you.” Ivar looked up at his father with a look Asdis couldn't discern.

She couldn't believe it, their father had come back. He was here. He could see who his children had grown up to be. She could finally know Ragnar Lothbrok.  Asdis beamed then looked up and met her fathers gaze for the first time in ten years. She felt all her hopes shatter when she was met with a look of utter contempt. Her smile faltered. What was that?

Perhaps he doesn't recognise me, she reasoned as she watched her father turn to the crowd.

“It appears my return is not welcome, You've obviously all made your mind up about me.I cannot blame you for that,” he sighed and turned back to them, “So boys, whos going to do it, then? Who's going to kill me?” He challenged with his arms wide open, “Well, I don't mind, Go ahead, Please.” What had her father become? 

“What about you, Hvitserk? You think you're a man now? I dare you. Put me out of my misery.” He taunted her older brother.  “Do it. Do it. Do it. do it.” He chanted, “DO IT!” He shouted, startling everyone. Ubbe swallowed.

“Look at these people! They no longer support me! Look! Why would they? I am your leader, and I just left! What kind of leader does that, huh?” Surely he had gone mad. “What kind of king abandons his people? What kind of father abandons his sons?” He choked glancing at each of them. “So, who wants to be king?” he asked and circled around the crowd. “Oh, you know how this works! If you want to be king, you must kill me.” He offered his sword to one villager, “Take it. No? You? No? What about you? No? Anyone?”  He roared and thrust his sword into the dirt and screamed, “Who wants to be king?!”

“What about you, Sigurd?” He turned to them again, “Do you want to be king? Do you want to be king, Ubbe? Kill me and you are king,” he suggested. “King Ubbe! What are you waiting for?” Ubbe flinched back. “Are you afraid? Be a man!” He then paced across to where she stood next to Ivar. “And what about you Asdis? Do you want to be Queen? You've got a sword, you’re all grown up, Kattegat is yours, take it,” She furrowed her brow and took a step back, “Because we both know this is the only way you’ll ever sit on a throne,” Ragnar whispered so quietly only she could hear. She recoiled and cast her gaze on the ground. So he did recognise her. It stung more than it should have. What did she ever do that he hated her so much?

* * *

 

“Father wants to go to England,” Hvitserk announced later that evening.

“Why do you not want to go with him? Ubbe?” Ivar questioned.

“You know why,” he paused to take a mouthful, “Now shut up.”

“Is it the same for you, Sigurd?” Ivar asked, “Or are you afraid of being seasick?” He taunted.

“I'm not afraid of anything, brother,” Sigurd said.

“Not even me?” Ivar teased. The table grew tense.

“Would you like some more ale, Ivar?” The slaveMargarethe interrupted. Ivar nodded and grinned deviously. Sighing, Ivar groped the woman’s arse as she busied herself pouring the ale.

“It is wrong to treat her that way,” Ubbe protested as the others looked on.

Ivar smiled cynically “Why are you so polite? She's just a slave.” he glanced at each of his brothers before adding,”You all just want to have her.” Hvitserk and Sigurd looked away but Ubbe snorted. “You too, Ubbe.”

“Ivar,” Aslaug warned.

“Mother.” Ivar pouted.

“You are dismissed,” Aslaug told the slave and watched as her sons pined after her. “Right, well, have any of you boys seen Asdis? I haven't seen her all afternoon and now she is skipping dinner, it's unlike her,” Aslaug changed the subject. Everyone frowned. A chorus of murmured ‘nos’ came from the boys.

“I think she said something about talking to father,” Sigurd shrugged. Aslaug stiffened. Ivar caught the split second reaction and frowned. “Apparently, our little sister is the only person who wants to go to England,” Sigurd chuckled. The door to the main hall creaked and everyone's head shot in the direction. There, slinking through the hall, hoping to go undetected was the hooded Asdis. Realising she had been caught she made a dash for the private chambers. She rushed past the table and almost got to the doorway before her mother called out.

“Asdis, come sit down your dinner is getting cold,” she said. Asdis kept her back to them and took a step closer to the doorway.

“I am not hungry, mother, I just want to lie down…” she refused in a shaky voice. Ubbe furrowed his brow with concern, Asdis never skipped dinner, ever.

“As, what's wrong?” Ubbe asked.

“Nothing, nothing, just feeling a bit out of sorts, please if that is all, I will go lay down now,” she excused but sounded more like she was pleading.

Ivar screwed his face up with scepticism,“You aren't convincing anyone, sister.”

“Asdis,” their mother sternly growled and Asdis froze in place. “How did your talk with your father go?”

“My talk with Ragnar went fine,” she replied quickly. Too quickly. “Please, I am tired-”

“Turn around,” Aslaug ordered.

“Mother, please-”

“Turn around and face me Asdis,” Aslaug said. Asdis sighed, defeated, she turned around slowly.

“As? What happened?” Hvitserk muttered staring at his sisters blotched, red and tear-stained face.

“May I go now?” Asdis pleaded choking back more tears. “Please Mother, I just want this day to be over.” Her mother nodded and Asdis turned to leave but stopped before exiting the main hall. “Good night… and Ivar, your father wants to speak with you.” All the brothers watched on with concern as she disappeared into her chamber.

* * *

 

Ubbe patted Ivar’s cheek affectionately as he admired the shot.  A scoff came from behind them as a figure slunk into the training area, “Ivar did you fail to tell me that you all were training today?” She asked as she drew her bow,  “Or were you afraid that I’d beat you again?”

“Ha,” Ivar scoffed. “Again? You’ve never beaten-”  She loosed the arrow.  Everyone's jaw dropped as her arrow split Ivar’s in two and pierced the target deer’s eye. Even Asdis let out a ‘huh’ of surprise. “How?!” Ivar gawked.

“I’ve been practising,” she supplied smugly.

“Well, as much as I hate the fact that you have moved to father’s old cabin, it appears to be doing you good,” Hvitserk admitted.  “You actually hit the target this time,” he jabbed.

Asdis scoffed, she knew he was referring to her axe throwing skills, or lack thereof.

“Just because I am good with a bow and spear, doesn’t mean I am good with everything. If anything it is best to be good at handling a shield, it has saved more lives than an axe ever will.”  

“Well without you we’ve been somewhat freer, Hvitserk as taken to walking around nude.’” Sigurd divulged.  Asdis screwed up her face in disgust.

“What?” Hvitserk chuckled, “I can never find clean clothes.”

“Well while you lot have seemed to degrade further, I’ve been able to focus more, clear my head, I haven't felt more resolved within myself in years,” Asdis smiled and poured herself a drink and poured another for Ivar. “It’s quiet, sometimes lonely but I keep myself busy.”

Sigurd and Hvitserk clashed blades and she watched on as she passed the cup to her older brother.

“I want you back,” Ivar muttered, “I still don’t understand why you felt you had to go move out and leave me with these three.” She sighed and managed a pained look at him.

“I miss you too, but  I can’t live in the hall anymore, it’s not right, one day you’ll figure it out, you're clever like that,” she said cryptically. “So are you going to England with Ragnar?” She changed the subject abruptly.

Ivar grinned, “I’ll figure out what your hiding Asdis, you're never able to hide anything from me,” he said. “But, yes, I am going to England, looks like I have what you don’t,  father thinks that I am the right one to follow him.”

“That is wonderful,” she said happily but she couldn’t quite hide her disappointment.

“Asdis?” He asked.

“Hmmm?” She bit her lip and continued to try and keep up her facade.

“Your time will come, don’t you worry, you're a fine shieldmaiden, I am sure you will, one day, have great adventures,” he assured her.

She smiled at him and laughed, “Well now the great Ivar has spoken, it will surely come to pass.” They both chuckled. Ivar wondered why Ragnar would refuse to bring her. She was just a good warrior as any of them, she even had learnt a small bit of Saxon from passing traders, and she had working legs. Ragnar had to bribe people to sail with him, yet, here she was, a perfect candidate, his own daughter basically throwing herself at his feet and he ignored her. Ivar knew in truth she should be the one father allowed to go with him, not him. These thoughts were interrupted when an axe sailed through the air and knocked his cup from his hand. Enraged he turned to Sigurd and took aim.

* * *

 

After seeing Bjorn and Hvitserk off earlier in the day, a smaller crowd had gathered to see the great Ragnar Lothbrok cast off for England. However, Asdis wasn’t interested in seeing him sail away again. She searched the deck and found no sign of him. She turned behind her and looked around, where was he? Had he changed his mind? It was then she saw a truly amazing sight.  Rounding the corner slowly, was her brother Ivar, walking. Well, sought of, he had crutches and was dragging himself along with what looked like a considerable amount of effort. She smiled proudly. Her mother’s forlorn expression also turned up into a small smile. Ivar dragged himself past her without sparing a glance. Her smile faltered.

“Come back, please, I couldn't stand it if you left me with the other three the rest of my life,” she called behind him. Her mother flinched beside her and Ivar nodded and dragged himself another meter before losing his balance and face planting in a pile of sacks. Ubbe took a step to help him, but Aslaug held him back. She watched on as Ivar hauled himself along with determination crawled onto the ship.

“Hurry up,” Ragnar teased, “We have a tide to catch.”  

Asdis waved as the ship cast off. She stayed and watched the skip sail towards the horizon from the jetty, long after most of the crowd had left.

“Look at you, already pining after him like a lost dog,” A voice said beside her, “He's not coming back you know.”

She swivelled around glared at Sigurd, “Pfft, you wish, how could you say something so horrible anyway?”

“He is a cripple, how do you think he will raid England? The answer is he couldn't, never in a million years, father took him out there to die.” Sigurd sat down next to her. “It’s better this way, you know, you just say goodbye to him, hoping he comes back, rather than being there, watching-”

“Stop it.” She snapped. “What do you want Sigurd?”

“Only to let you know that mother had a dream,” Sigurd informed her.

“What about?” She asked suspiciously.

“She saw Ivar drown, father will get caught in a storm, he never will make it to England-”

“You are lying,” she cut him off.

“Unfortunately, I speak the truth, you can even ask mother, and as you know, her visions always come to pass,” Sigurd said, then stood up and patted her on the shoulder. “It looks like you may have to ‘stand the other three’ for the rest of your life after all.”  Asdis sat there, grief-stricken as tears threaten to spill down her cheeks. “And to think he never even said goodbye to you, his beloved sister, what kind of brother does that? I wouldn’t Asdis,” Sigurd insisted then turned to leave, “I would never do that, remember that As.”

* * *

 

“You know you can move back to the hall whenever you want…” Aslaug suggested. “Your brothers and I have missed you terribly, you should come to dinner more often.”

“I would love to, but you know very well why I can't move back in, mother, especially now,” Asdis sighed.

“Why can't you? There is no reason you have to separate yourself,” Ubbe said.

“I can't because I can no longer stand the mess you boys make” she joked.

“Surely we are not that repulsive?” Ubbe chuckled.

“Well, between the smell and mother's constant talk of marriage-”

Aslaug butted in, “Which is a completely realistic expectation, you are 15 now-”

“Mother! I can barely stand myself, there is no way I would be able to tolerate another person being attached to me for the rest of my life,” she yowled. Ubbe and Sigurd snorted.

“I am serious, you should consider actually entertaining the suitors that come your way,” Aslaug continued.

“Mother!” She slumped in her seat mortified.

“What? I would like some grandchildren, I have no hope in your brothers to produce legitimate offspring,” Aslaug remarked. Ubbe choked. Sigurd scoffed.

“Now hang on a second…” Ubbe protested.

“Pfft, mother I am sorry to disappoint you but, I will not marry, nor will I have children, or sex, the idea disgusts me,” Asdis scoffed and took a swig of her drink.

“But Ivar doesn’t, doesn't he Asdis?” Sigurd Sniggered. The table went silent. Asdis frowned, what was that supposed to mean? “Is that why you hate Margarethe, are you jealous?” Sigurd sniggered. There was a clash as all the cutlery in the room simultaneously fell and heads turned.  Just ignore him, she told herself as she clenched her jaw and slowly placed down her cup. However, Sigurd continued, “That's why you've been moping around while he's gone, you’re so sad that he's dead now and he’ll never warm your bed-”

“Sigurd!” Aslaug chastised sternly, but she was drowned out as Asdis launched herself across the table, knife in hand. In the blink of an eye, Sigurd was on the ground wide-eyed as Asdis held the knife to his throat.

“As!” Ubbe barked a warning.

“How dare you…” Asdis growled.

“It was a joke, I swear!” Sigurd stammered shocked by his sister's outburst.

Asdis narrowed her eyes and snarled, “It was a very sick joke Sigurd and I would like an apology.”

“I'm sorry,” He pleaded. She nodded grimly and stabbed the knife into the floor next to his head. There were collective sighs of relief as she stood up from her brother and began to walk away.

“You better be,” she snapped over her shoulder.

“Come sit back down Asdis, you haven't finished your dinner!” Her mother called after her.

“I’ve lost my appetite,” she spat and slammed the door leaving the mead hall. 

* * *

 

She was hunting for her next meal. Her eel traps had caught nothing. She perched in the tree waiting by the small water source. Sooner or later something would come by, hopefully. She hadn’t seen any of her family since that night with Sigurd, but then again they never made the effort to come see her. She had scared herself once she had calmed down enough to realise she had held a knife to her brother's throat. She was losing something within her, she was not sure what, but every day, since Ragnar had told her the truth, she felt less and less like herself and more and more... Angry? Sad? Afraid? She didn't know, one of those emotions.

She sighed and looked the sun’s position, perhaps she should have dinner with her mother. It would be a good opportunity now that she had heard Ubbe and Sigurd had gone to Hedeby. She sighed and shimmied down the tree and began walking towards Kattegat.

She was cresting the first of three hills when she heard the screams. She pulled out her bow and slung her quiver over her shoulder and began to sprint. By the time she crested the second hill she heard the clashing of metal. They were under attack. She willed her legs to move faster. She was halfway up the third hill when the was silence.

“No!” she cried. They couldn’t all be dead, could they? How long had they been under attack?

She finally crested the last hill and saw bodies haphazardly littering the ground. Farmers and townspeople, mostly. If so many of their people slain and none of their own she needed better weapons. She ran up to the only dead enemy she could find; a shield maiden. She glared at the familiar painted blue and black emblem.

“Lagertha!” She snarled wrenching the shield and sword from the dead woman. She had to get to the hall. One thought was on her mind now. She just hope she was not too late; she had to save her mother.

* * *

 

They were surprised when the lone Saxon ship entered the harbour. Ubbe was relieved to find that Ivar had survived, but he was also unnerved to find that there were no others with him. Ivar also looked deathly pale and wheezed in breathes with difficulty, something had gone horribly wrong. With Sigurd's help, he lifted Ivar onto a horse then the three road off to their new home; Asdis’ cabin. Ivar immediately started asking questions when he realised they were not returning to the hall. Ubbe didn’t have the heart to tell him that they no longer lived there. They gathered around the table and made sure Ivar was given food and water.

“Where is our father?” Sigurd broke the silence.

“Where is Ragnar?” Ubbe asked finally. Ivar shook his head.

“King Ecbert handed him over to King Aelle, knowing that Aelle would kill him,” he reported dismally.

“Why would he give him to Aelle?” Ubbe questioned.

“It doesn't matter, our father is probably dead by now, and we will have to avenge him, that is what matters,” Ivar stated. Ubbe nodded in agreement.

“We have something to tell you,” Sigurd sighed heavily.

“Ubbe?” Ivar asked expectantly. Ubbe opened and closed his mouth but no word came out. He shook his head.

Sigurd then delivered the bad news, “Mother is dead.” Ivar looked at him in shock

“It's true,” Ubbe sighed. “Lagertha killed her, Lagertha is now Queen of Kattegat,” Ubbe said and watch his brother’s face fall and added, “And Mother is dead.”  Ivar went silent but Ubbe could see the unadulterated rage that burned within him. Ivar looked around at the cabin staring at the dead, drying flowers on the bench. Ubbe knew what his next question was before Ivar even opened his mouth.

“What has happened to Asdis? Why is she not here?” Ivar seethed.

Ubbe swallowed, “We don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!?” He bellowed and Ubbe saw blood ooze from Ivars clenched fist.

“We can't find her, we assumed Lagertha killed her up until the blacksmith told us that Asdis tried to defend our mother but failed, she was last seen at the funeral, to be honest, Ivar, after  two weeks searching for her, I am dreading the likely announcement of what a fisherman will find in his net,” Sigurd reported dejectedly.

“Asdis would never… she… she…” Ivar couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“She has changed Ivar, ever since father came back she has behaved strangely, I don't pretend to know her mind, but I imagine father's rejection has dealt quite a blow to her self-esteem, then she thought you were dead after mothers vision, she mourned for days, not eating, not sleeping and now she fails to defend her mother and loses her as a result, it doesn't bode well Ivar…” Sigurd explained.

“Hang you bloody theory Sigurd! She failed? Screw you! Where were you two! You both said you would stay to protect our mother and Asdis! You left her alone to do what was supposed to be your job! She failed no one, it is you who have failed! So I ask you both, where were you?”

“We were tricked by Lagertha, she lured us to Hedeby and imprisoned us-” Ubbe started.

“How were you fooled?” Ivar pressed.

“Lagertha used Margarethe-” ubbe tried to explain.

“A slave girl! A SLAVE GIRL! You fools! You left Kattegat open to attack and allowed your mother to be murdered because you wanted to wet your cocks!” Ivar raged. “If I ever see Margarethe again I will slit her pretty little throat-”

“It was not her fault, Lagertha made her do it,” Ubbe defended.  Ivar shook his head and grunted as he shimmed off the chair and began crawling.

“Where are you going?” Sigurd asked.

“I am going to find my sister, she could be hurt, I doubt very much she stood idly by and let Lagertha kill our mother, she would have fought back, the only way she would ever lose is if someone bested her,” Ivar sneered and made his way outside. “Besides, I know her the best, I know her hiding spots, she was always good at hiding, she shared her dens and hideouts with me when we were little so I could win hide and seek, I still remember them, I imagine she does too.”

“Good luck then,” Sigurd grumbled.

“I'll help,” Ubbe nodded and rose from his seat.

* * *

 

They trekked through the forest for an hour, Ubbe had no Idea where they were.

“Where are we?”

“A place she called Serpent's Pass, it's the only one of her spots close to a creek, if she's been out here for two weeks then I would bet she's here, she would need water to survive,” Ivar said. “She also likes eel, and here is the best place to get them.” Ubbe surveyed the forest around him in awe. A creek flowed through a small gully of moss-covered stones and ancient trees. Ubbe hummed thoughtfully, it did look like a Serpent had slithered through, leaving a winding path for the creek to follow. “She also used to come here when she was mad at me because she knew I couldn't cross the creek.” Ubbe kneeled down and allowed Ivar to climb onto his back. Once Ivar had his arms firmly around his neck, Ubbe began to wade hesitantly through the frigid water. The water only got about waist deep but it was enough to make him shiver like he had been frozen solid.  On the other side, Ivar clambered off him and continued with somewhat uncertainty in his direction.

“I've never actually seen the den, I just know it's somewhere around here, so keep your eyes peeled,” Ivar instructed then paused, “Sigurd said Asdis had changed, what did he mean by that?”

Ubbe sighed and rubbed his forehead, “She got worse while you were away… she thought you were dead, she wasn't the same after that.”

“Worse?” Ivar asked.

“More agitated and reclusive, one moment she would be fine, the next she’d become angry and storm off and we wouldn’t see her for days, Sigurd gave her a hard time to,” Ubbe said as he continued deeper into the forest. “Just when mother and I had managed to coax her out to dinner in the hall, Sigurd accused her of uh… some rather unsavoury things and she almost killed him at the dinner table.”

“What? Asdis? She cries over dead rabbits, What the hel did Sigurd accuse her of that would make her do that?” Ivar frowned in confusion and curiosity.

“Umm, it's probably best to be left unrepeated,” Ubbe mumbled.

“No, really, what did he say?” Ivar pestered.

“You don't want to know-”Ubbe affirmed.

“I don’t want to know or you don't want to tell me?” Ivar pressed.

“Both, if I told you, you'd probably want to kill Sigurd as well,” Ubbe said.

“Why her?" Ivar shrugged, "Why would Sigurd say the 'unsayable' about his own sister?”

“I don’t know, I think with you gone, Sigurd targeted his rage at As, I think he is angry at her,” Ubbe theorised.

“Angry about what?” Ivar chuckles

“He once shared with me that he felt left out, that he was jealous that you and As got along so well, I think maybe he feels that As doesn't love him, which isn’t true, but he resents her for it, with you gone, I guess he finally felt brave enough to antagonise her,” Ubbe shrugged. “All I know for certain brother is, it is unlikely that he will do it ag-” Ubbe did not finish as his eyes landed on something that made his gut churn.

“What is-”Ivar spotted it too. The now, dark brown splashes that dribbled over a patch of bright green moss and continued, dripping through leaf litter and over tree trunks. Blood. Dried blood.

They quickened their pace and followed the trail with urgency.

“Asdis?” Ubbe called out. There was no reply. “As?” He cried again.

“There,” Ivar pointed to a large dead tree which had a small dip in the dirt around it’s spreading tendrils. Ubbe ran to the tree and peered through the roots to see a body curled into a ball shrouded in a cloak, it's back to him.

“Thank the gods! As? Are you alright? We are here, come on it's time to go home,” Ubbe said. The bundle didn't move. Ubbe felt the panic rise within his chest. “As?”

“Leave me be,” a hoarse voice uttered. Ubbe sighed in relief; at least she wasn't dead.

“We've been worried sick looking for you, we thought you were dead,” Ubbe continued and reached for her. She shuffled further into the hovel away from him.

“I am dead Ubbe, now, leave me alone,” she replied.

“As, are you hurt?” Ubbe asked with concern.

“Piss off!” She growled.

“Asdis, it wasn’t your fault,” Ivar piped up. Asdis seemed to freeze at the sound of his voice.

“I have lost much, but I have not lost my mind, I know this is just a dream, a trick, sent by Loki to torment me, my brother is dead and serves in Ran’s halls,” she murmured with a broken heart.

“I am no illusion, I didn’t die, I came back, just like you told me to,” Ivar began as Ubbe looked on, continuing to be enrapt by a side of his brother he rarely saw. “And now I want you to come back with me, please, I know you feel like you've lost everything, but I am still here, Ubbe is still here and Sigurd and Hvitserk, we are all here and we know, it's not your fault.”

“So it is you, the vision was wrong,” she seemed to lighten up for a bit, but then he saw her visibly deflate, “I am so sorry I failed,” she sobbed from within the tree. Ivar crawled closer to the hole she had dug as the entrance.

“Asdis, you tried, and that's more than enough, now will you come home and help me plan to avenge our mother?” He saw her shuffle closer to the entrance then stop short.

“I can't, you won't want me, I have brought shame to this family,” she sniffed.

“That is the stupidest thing I have heard today, right, here’s the deal, you pick your arse up and come back home with dignity and you help me avenge our mother or just sit there and wallow in self-loathing for the rest of your life,” Ivar proposed. Silence followed. He watched her shuffle an arm's length in front of him then stop.

“I can’t, I want to, but I can't Ivar, just leave me-” he sprung forward and grabbed hold of one of her arms and pulled. Ubbe took hold of Ivar’s legs and helped to drag their kicking and screaming sister out.

“You’re coming home whether you like it or not! It's for your own good!” Ivar screamed back.

Eventually, Asdis gave up clawing at the Earth rolled over on her stomach and pulled her hood over her head. In the light, they could now see the haggard state she was in. She was thin and sickly pale, her dark hair peeking out from under the hood was mattered with dried blood and her hands were also bloody and grime-ridden.

“Don't look at me!” She sobbed. “Don’t, please don't.” Ivar glanced at Ubbe asking a silent question. Ubbe nodded. They both flipped her over and gasped.

“As…” Ubbe began but lost his words as he stared at her face. Ivar’s features contorted with rage as he ran his eyes along the thick, deep and jagged scar from her left cheek to the bridge of her nose. He clenched his teeth at the sight of the purple and yellow bruises that spread across her face like patchwork. Worst of all, he swallowed a whimper when he met her grey-eyed stare and noticed she was one eye short.

“Who did this?” He demanded.

“The one they called Astrid,” she spat bitterly.

“Then we will make her pay for it,” Ivar promised her.

“But for now, let’s get you home and cleaned up,” Ubbe sighed and scooped her up.

* * *

 

  
  
  



	2. part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second part of what was supposed to be a one-shot. It was also supposed to be fluff… but it kinda turned into angst. Oops sorry.

* * *

“In the name of our dead father, in the name of Ragnar Lothbrok, the greatest hero of our country, and in the name of Odin, we declare war on the whole world.” Ivar proposed with enthusiasm after much bickering between his brothers.

“Asdis, you’ve been awfully quiet? What do you think Hmm?” Ivar coaxed. Asdis didn’t move from her spot at the windowsill, carving into her bow, refusing to acknowledge them.

“Asdis? Come on you haven’t said anything all day,” Ubbe pried, “At least let us know you can still speak.” She sighed and turned her bandaged head towards them.

“What is there to think? I cannot pass judgement on a man I hardly know, he left us, he left and he didn’t come back till he needed something from us, I don’t care for avenging him because he made it obvious that he didn’t care about us, or mother,” she shrugged and continued to whittle away at her bow, carving a raven into the wood.

“How can you say that? Our father was the greatest man in Midgard,” Ivar exclaimed.

“That may be so, but he was not the greatest father, I would rather spend my time avenging someone who actually meant something to me, like our mother. We have done nothing but challenge Lagertha, it was pitiful Ivar, if you Ubbe hadn’t locked me in a barn it would have been over and done with,” She grumbled hoarsely.

Ivar bristled, “Her time will come; besides, you were in no condition to fight, you would have died,”

“Well, maybe that’s what I wanted,” she snarled. Ubbe winced and sighed. Asdis turned to them finally and gesture to them with her knife, “My point is, don’t ask me to join your ‘Great Heathen Army’ until the bitch’s head and her whore’s are on pikes.”

“Seems you don’t understand the importance of this Halfsight, are you half-witted now as well?” Sigurd jabbed. Asdis looked up from her carving and faced him with a murderous expression.

“Call me that again, I dare you, Sigurd-slashed-side,” she threatened waving her knife menacingly.

“I doubt you’d be able to aim that well…Halfsight,” Sigurd challenged. Asdis screamed and launched herself at him, but Ubbe intercepted her and cast her knife to the ground before she could throw it.

“Save it for the enemy! We’re a family dammit! It’s about time we act like one!” Ubbe barked at the room.

“About time?” Asdis sneered, “Oh and I guess it wasn’t time to act like a family when our mother was murdered. Don’t you tell me what a family is supposed to do, because if I remember correctly you weren’t there when we needed you! None of you were! And now you just want to act like it never happened and wage war for a man who did nothing for us? Screw you, all of you!” She screamed shoving Ubbe back then storming out the door.

Ivar turned to his brothers with a shocked expression asking for an explanation, “What the hel happened while I was gone?”

“I wish I knew, brother,” Ubbe sighed. “But perhaps she has a point, it may be easier to avenge our mother first, that way we’ll have all of Kattegat and Hedeby at our disposal.”

* * *

Ivar crawled silently towards the training grounds following the feral grunts and curses of his sister. He hid in the underbrush and peered from behind the leaves. There, he watched as Asdis loaded her bow.

“Come on, come on, this is easy! You’ve done this since you were a child!” He heard her growl to herself. He stared as she took aim at the target deer about 10 paces in front of her. She took a breath in and let it out. In and out, in and she loosed the arrow. It sailed through the air passed the target and scattered itself among three others in the grass. “No. Come on As, one more, one more, this is easy, don’t let Sigurd get to you.” she scolded herself through gritted teeth. He watched her take aim again, this time tilting her head and staring straight at the target with her one good eye. In, out, in… loose. He winced as it missed again. “No!” She cried and loaded her bow. She loosed and it landed in front of the target. “No!” She drew another.

“Come on As, you can do it,” he whispered. She drew back the bow, aimed, released and missed.

“Come on!” She screamed and shot arrow after arrow, none finding their target.  Ivar sucked in a breath as he watched his sister break down once she realised she had emptied her quiver.  She let out a pitiful wail and sunk to her knees and began to sob. “Why didn’t you take me Allfather! Why do I deserve this shame? Is this my curse for failure? Was taking my mother from me not enough?!” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she screamed into the sky, “Please, I don’t expect you to restore my sight but,  Allfather don’t make me live the rest of my days with shame.” She opened her arms up and stared the sky, “Strike me down, end me, mercy!” she closed her eyes and hurled her bow as far away from her as she could then sat there waiting. His heart broke as he looked on, watching, as she realised Odin wouldn’t grant her request. He wanted to go to her as she curled into a ball and began to cry. “Oh mother,” she sobbed, “I am so sorry.”

* * *

“My friends, welcome to Kattegat.” Ubbe smiled at some potential recruits to their cause. He had to bide his time at this feast until everything was in place.

“And who might you be?” They smiled back somewhat cynically.

Unphased by their rudeness Ubbe grinned and raised his cup,“My name is Ubbe.”

They both nearly choked on their mead. The first man jumped to make amends, “Forgive me, Ubbe. If I’d known, I would never have been so rude. Your father was a great hero.”

“Perhaps the greatest hero of our race. And that is why we have answered your summons and come to avenge his death.” The second explained before he added, “He was also like our father.”

“That we have all lost a father,” Ubbe agreed.

Suddenly the first nudged the second and the pair began to chuckle. “Who’s the cripple?” he asked. Ubbe smiled deviously and made a mental note of what these fellows faces looked like. “His name is Ivar and he’s my brother.” The two men expressions filled with fear at that revelation. “So, I would suggest you stop laughing at him right now. Instead, if you want to stay alive, I would learn to respect and fear him,” he advised then patted their shoulders with mock-friendliness, “That would be my advice.” He walked past them and handed a cup of mead to his brother before walking off trying to find Asdis. He knew once she entered the hall everything would be in place.

“You had no right to free my slaves without my permission,” the usurper’s voice called from behind him. He turned around an offered a fake smile at Lagertha.

“I don’t remember you asking permission to kill my mother,” he bit back.

“That’s different.” she sighed, “I am Queen now.”

“I know,” he grunted then noticed the hooded figure he was looking for slink through the door, “I just don’t know for how long,” he warned and turned to leave.

“Ubbe!” she called, prompting him to turn back around, “I wanted to tell you…You look just like your father looked when he was a young man.” she smiled sadly, “When I first knew him.” He only gave a curt nod and turned to find his sister in the crowd.

* * *

Not too much later, their loyal men surrounded Lagertha’s shieldmaidens. Asdis let out an excited cackle as she unsheathed her sword.  She grinned as Ubbe and Ivar advanced towards the usurper.  Yes, yes. yes, rang through her mind in a continuous scream. She stalked towards Astrid, “I want compensation,” she demanded, “An eye for an eye.”

“Last time I saw you Asdis you weren’t so… half-sighted, tell me, did you have to take it out yourself?” Astrid smirked.

“You didn’t do a very good job,” Asdis snarled back.

“Perhaps I wasn’t trying,” Astrid sneered.  Asdis growled and lurched forward but was interrupted by the door bursting open.

“If you kill her, my brothers, you’ll have to kill me too!” Bjorn announced. Asdis groaned and shot her him a dirty look.

“Maybe we should!” Ivar took the words right out of her mouth.

“Shut up.” Ubbe chastised with a frown.

“She killed our mother,” Ubbe explained.

“I know,” Bjorn nodded, “You want revenge. So would I. But more importantly, we have to avenge our father,” he said looking to his brothers.

Asdis rolled her eyes, “More important to you maybe.”

“Shut up,” Ubbe warned.

Bjorn continued, “That is why I came back. And that is what we are going to do.” Bjorn lightly tapped his axe to Ivar’s cheek and Lagertha threw down her sword. Sighing, Ubbe tucked his axe on his belt and  Ivar stabbed the floor with his axe and let out a frustrated grunt before crawling out the door. Asdis backed away from Astrid and stalked toward Bjorn and lagertha,

“So, you had your revenge?” Bjorn whispered to his mother.

“Only a coward, would call what she did ‘revenge’,” Asdis brushed past him and spat on the ground as she exited to the hall.

* * *

“I’m not saying we shouldn’t do it, but think about it if we…” Sigurd’s explanation was interrupted by the door opening.

“Hvitserk!” Ubbe chuckled and embraced his brother.

“Welcome home, brother,” Sigurd greeted and joined the embrace. Margrethe also greeted Hvitserk with a small nod as they all sat down and Sigurd passed him a cup of ale.

“I heard you freed Margrethe?” Hvitserk nodded in her direction. “You want to marry her.

I’m glad. Just don’t keep her all to yourself,” he chuckled Ubbe also tried to chuckle but found he couldn’t really make it convincing. He opted instead to change the subject.

“It’s good to have you back, brother. Have you heard about Mother?” The good mood died instantly.

“Yes.” he nodded sadly, “Well, you and I, Ubbe, we jumped under the ice because of her. So I don’t quite agree that we should kill Lagertha because of it.” he shrugged. Sigurd gestured to his brother and nodded his head at Ubbe making another point of someone unknowingly agreeing with him.

“Ivar thinks we should,” Ubbe supplied.

“Ivar’s crazy. You know that.” Hvitserk snickered and Sigurd smirked.

“Asdis also is out for her blood,” Ubbe sighed and took another drink.

“Asdis?” Hvitserk scoffed.

“Hvitserk, Asdis has changed,” Ubbe warned him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hvitserk asked but Ubbe was too tired to try and explain what was happening to Asdis.

“Maybe we should wait…” he thought out loud.

“First we avenge our father,” Sigurd explained, “besides, someone has to rule Kattegat when we’re away.”

“And if we kill Lagertha, we have to kill Bjorn and I don’t want to do that,” Ubbe explained.

Hvitserk snorted at the idea, “Well, maybe you couldn’t do it anyways.”

“Would you want to test me, brother?” Ubbe bit back and Hvitserk stopped smiling, “Oh and Hvitserk when you do see Asdis…” he paused as he tried to think of advice for him

“Yeah?” Hvitserk asked.

“Try not to stare, it upsets her,” Ubbe said finally and stood up from his seat.

“Don’t marry her Ubbe,” she said finally from her perch at the window. Ubbe turned to her, dressed in his best tunic and quirked a brow at her, asking for an explanation. “She is a deceitful, conniving and ambitious woman…” she muttered then paused when she realised she was ranting. She sighed and looked at Ubbe with a pleading expression, “…You’re too good for her,” she summarised.

“Is this about Ivar…” he began.

“This has nothing to do with Ivar!” She snapped abruptly. He held his hands up in surrender and she hung her head, “Ubbe, for the love of Odin, don’t marry her.” Ubbe scoffed and turned to leave. “She may stand by you now, she may ‘love’ you now, but the moment fortune favours someone else; she’ll leave you,” she warned.

“You don’t know anything about love Asdis, you are too young,” Ubbe ignored her.

“But I am old enough to know about pain and loyalty,” she stood up and paced towards him, “Ubbe, my brother,” she began, then swallowed. “I know this is not what you want to hear on the day of your wedding, but I care about you,” she sniffed, “You are kind and that is good, you deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them- “

“Shut up, she loves me!” Ubbe snarled and turned to walk away.

Asdis flinched back then grabbed his arm as he walked away, “I’m trying to protect you!”

Ubbe wrenched his arm from her and accidentally sent Asdis to ground. She looked up at him and shook her head in disbelief. He stared down at her with gritted teeth, “Well I don’t need protecting by my little sister, I protect you- “

“Well then,” Asdis snarled through tears, “Look at what a good job you’ve done!” She tilted her face and let him see her eyepatch as she picked herself up off the floor. “I don’t know why I bothered,” she glared back at him and turn to leave the room.

“As…” Ubbe called after her.

“Mark my words Ubbe, you will regret this.” Asdis warned, then turned to look back at him, “And you’re wrong, you don’t protect me, we protect each other Ubbe, that’s what family does, whatever family means.”

* * *

As fun as it was to make Hvitserk run around and fetch drinks he could only stand so much noise, people and revelry. He made his way out of the hall and to the small hill which overlooked the harbour to finally get some quiet when he found his spot already occupied.  

“What is the matter As, not enjoying the festivities?” He joked and pulled himself to sit next to her.

“Nothing, go back to enjoying yourself Ivar,” she shrugged off and continued to stare out over the ocean.

“Oh well, I would but I needed a break from all that… happiness,” he grimaced. She snorted beside him.  He nudged her, “So tell me, little sister, what troubles you? You usually love weddings.”

She looked at him with a scowl, “Is that a joke?”

He chuckled, “So that hasn’t changed.” At his words, she winced and hung her head. ‘Changed’. She hated that word. It reminded her of what she once was. “What is wrong, tell me, As?”Ivar pried.

“I told Ubbe not to marry that skag, he didn’t listen to me, I just couldn’t stand seeing her happy, finally getting what she wants, she’s going to ruin Ubbe, I hate her, I hope Thor strikes her dead,” she grumbled and kicked a stone done the hill.

“Me too,” he nodded in agreement, “Though I believe I have more of a reason to hate her than you, why do you hate her so much?”

“I hate liars,” she spat. “Everything about her is a lie, even her face, how could such an awful person look so… pretty, so beautiful and yet… underneath be so…so evil?”

“It’s stupid,” she sniffled, “I don’t even want to get married, or love anyone… but… I wish… that someone would look at me like they look at Margrethe.”

“What?” Ivar chuckled, “With no respect?”

“No, like… I’m pretty, oh never mind I’ve had too much mead,” she sighed then hung her head, “You know I never thought myself vain, until this,” she jabbed a finger at her eyepatch, “I never thought my face to be beautiful until it was made ugly.”

“As, you aren’t ugly, I think it makes you look… wiser and fearsome, like Odin,” Ivar suggested.

She looked over at him and shook her head. “Or more like Thor,” she mumbled.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing,” she sniffed. “I never wanted anything romantic, but I still think it would feel good to have a man look at me and think I am beautiful, to feel desired. Despite what mother said about suitors, it has never happened before,” she choked out as tears began to well in her eye, “And it sure won’t happen now,” she spat venomously.

“As…” Ivar tried but found he was lost for words.

“It’s so stupid,” she growled.

“No it’s not,” he assured her, “You think I don’t know how that feels?”

“Pfft, there is nothing wrong with your face Ivar, and I believe your legs make stronger you and more dangerous than any man…” She turned to him with a coy smile, “And I know you have admirers, many admirers brother.”

He barked with laughter. “Well then, where are they?” He asked the air looking around as if they were hiding in the bushes.

“Perhaps if you didn’t scare them off all the time with your Impeccable Manners they would reveal themselves to you,” she chuckled.

“Well, I am not known for my manners so I guess they will have to stay in hiding for a while longer,” He smirked. They sat in silence for a few seconds then burst out laughing. Asdis’ tears soon turned into joyous one as they kept laughing and laughing. Every time they died down they would start again until they were wheezing. Asdis thought it wasn’t even that funny, she shouldn’t be laughing that much, but she reasoned that maybe after the events of the past few weeks she just needed to laugh so desperately. Giggling now, she let herself fall back on the grass. Ivar joined her as they caught their breaths and looked up at the stars.

“Come to England with me,” Ivar broke the silence suddenly. Asdis’ mood immediately soured. She turned her head to look at her brother. “Please, come on it will take your mind off what has happened,” he implored.  
“I don’t want to take my mind off it,” she said monotonically and sat up. She began to get up when Ivar grabbed her arm and held her back.

“Asdis,” he sighed, “There is nothing we can do right now, we must avenge our father first.”  

“No.” She yanked her arm from his grasp. “You must avenge Ragnar, not me. Good night Ivar,” she gritted.

“As!” Ivar called after her. “Asdis!” He shouted, but she had already left him to sit alone in the cold, night air.

* * *

“Brothers, this is my decision,” Bjorn paced in front of them, “We refuse to share power with any of the other Kings and Earls, whoever they are, or however powerful they are. Least of all, my brothers, King Harald Finehair and his brother, for they are dedicated to our overthrow. Is that understood?”

Ivar nodded while Bjorn looked at each of their faces, “We are all equally Ragnar’s sons, but we are not equal in battle…” he paused,  “So I will take the lead.” Ivar’s head turned and his eyes narrowed. Bjorn continued, “I will establish the battle plans, and I will give the orders.

Do you understand that?” Ivar shook his head, “You don’t agree, Ivar?”

“I didn’t say anything,” he smiled cynically.

“You don’t have to, Your age makes you believe you know more than you do. But what do you know? What have you done? What battles have you won and what battles have you lost? For it is in failure, my brothers, that is where we learn the most.” Bjorn proclaimed.

Ivar held back a chuckle and shook his head, “Really?”

“You don’t want to listen, that is your choice, but I am the leader of this great army.

Me! And you will obey me!” Bjorn pointed to his chest then turned to all of his brothers, “And if you do so, my brothers, revenge for our father will be ours,” he finished.

“So, leader…” Ivar began, “What then shall we do about Asdis?”

“Nothing, in her current state, she will be a liability in battle, we leave her here,” Bjorn grunted.

“Really?” Ivar asked with false innocence, “Because I would think that in her ‘current state’, to leave her here alone, with your mother, would be more of a liability,” he smirked. Bjorn shut his mouth and clenched his jaw. “I would think it wise to take her with us, by any means necessary,” Ivar grinned deviously.

* * *

She stood on the dock watching the men load the ship. As much as she hated their cause, she hoped her brothers succeeded and came back to her. It was not only the English kings’ men she had to worry about, no, she also had to worry about the tension between them all. Presently, they were more likely to tear each other part than the enemy. She sighed and watched as her brothers boarded.

 Ubbe was the first to notice her, he waved and smiled, she didn’t smile back, she was still angry with him, but she did nod at him. Ubbe nudged Hvitserk and pointed in her direction, he looked confused then found her and grinned widely, waving enthusiastically. She rolled her eyes and waved back, cracking a small grin. Ubbe also tapped Sigurd on the shoulder he turned his head briefly and then went back to whatever he was doing, Asdis sighed, “Love you to arsehole,” she murmured. Last but least, she locked eyes with Ivar, she raised her hand in a short wave, he smirked at her, but not in the usual way, it seemed more menacing. He was up to something. She raised an eyebrow, but didn’t give it much thought, “You all better come back in one piece!” She shouted.

“We will,” Ubbe promised.

“See you soon,” Ivar called back with a wicked grin. She frowned at him.

“Wha-” There was a blunt pain in the back of her head and she crumpled to her knees. She then fell forward, and the dirt was the last thing she saw before her vision went black.

* * *

 


End file.
